Eclipse checklist: I’m ready.

Seems we’re expecting tens [maybe hundreds] of thousands of folks heading to our area for this weird thing happening up in the sky on Monday.

Bring it on. There are rumors of our utilities being overtaxed, what with visitors needing things like water, electricity, and basic sanitation–seems there’s no pleasing some people.

I say, bring on the apoc-eclipse. I am all over this.

First and foremost…coffee [pre-pulverized, in case we lose power], my Clever Coffee Dripper, and coffee beans [we snobs like it fresh ground, if possible]. Filters don’t rate a photo, but they’re in my emergency pack, as well.

coffee and clever


Second, [again, if we lose power] a heat source…boil water for coffee and grill whatever will be thawing out from the freezer. And there’ll be lots of unfrozen fruit on our paper plates as well. Not so surprisingly, even in these potentially dire situations, I’ll still be unimpressed by the bumper crop of summer squash holding up our side fence.

charcoal heat and cooking source


Next, my most vital food stuff.



Still in the sustenance department, nothing like a little touch of whimsy…


Seems someone in the household is having boundary issues.


On the day of the eclipse, I guess I’ll humor those millions of alarmists who seem to think a) they know more than I do  b) I need these when looking at sun and moon in partial eclipse phase.

eclipse glasses



NASA is also inviting us to be citizen-scientists. My specialized headgear is a clear sign I take this responsibility seriously. [My wife agrees it’s a clear sign of something else.]

light bulb hat citizen scientist


And if outages persist and I get desperate…

nose and glasses

These should perfectly disguise me when I saunter into someone’s living room and snag their generator complete with, I hope, an idiot-proof instruction manual.


I just noticed the missing eyebrow. That’s a problem. I’ll be a whole lot easier to pick out in a lineup. Luckily, the headgear will help me blend in. Then again, will I make it to the lineup or will there be an executive decision to transport me elsewhere?