Rants and Riffs Installment #12: Greeting cards, too-early calendars, and cable companies

infant ranting
Greeting card makers…since when did your product need that glued-down third ‘page’? The minute I pull a card from the case and feel that extra heft, I know that baby’s going to cost an extra buck.

Moving on…
A curious question from a snail mail donation plea…”How are you enjoying our 2020 calendar?” It’s September of 2019! Why would I have a calendar out three months ahead of time? And really, enjoying a calendar?

And finally…
Cable companies forcing you into ‘bundles’. All I want is fast Internet access! No, I do not want Keeping Up with the Kardashians, meaningless statistics spewed by sports networks, or some poor mosquito-bitten shlub relying on a palm frond [if we’re lucky] for warmth.

 

Some good writing quotes…

word cloud with keywords quotes, writing Atwood Trillin Rosenfeld

While I’m sure these first two quotes exist elsewhere, I found them courtesy of Jon Winokur. By the way, one of my favorite books? W.O.W. [Writers on Writing] by Jon Winokur.


As far as I’m concerned, “whom” is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Calvin Trillin


You most likely need a thesaurus, a rudimentary grammar book, and a grip on reality. This latter means: there’s no free lunch. Writing is work. It’s also gambling. You don’t get a pension plan. Other people can help you a bit, but essentially you’re on your own. Nobody is making you do this: you chose it, so don’t whine.

Margaret Atwood


No matter how grand or ordinary your idea, you must take it through an alchemical process that transforms it into a story.

Jordan Rosenfeld

 

I should be writing. Instead, a new app.

thisissand screenshot

Above is a screenshot from the thisissand app, billed as an app that merges art, creativity, and relaxation. Hey, if the creators can justify my procrastination for me, I’m all for it.

Plus, the price was right.

If you’re in the mood to kill 40+ seconds, here is a short demo.