cinnamon rolls – Word Inventions

I should be writing. Instead…facing food fears**

Anxiety lurks around every corner.
War ain’t great.
Ditto nuclear devastation.
**And painful alliteration? The worst.
But that all pales compared to…

cinnamon rolls without the ooze.

And there it sat, taunting me…Do I have enough cinnamon/sugar/butter goo coursing through my folds and crevices? Or am I just a lifeless, arid mass of flour and yeast?
Taunt away, dough boy! I’m ready for you!

Thank you, Ree Drummond. [And thank you foodie friend, L.O., for the recommendation.]
To quote the Food Network star: “It really should be called ‘Brown Sugar Sauce’.”
Not one to quibble over semantics, I share with you, The Pioneer Woman’s Easy Caramel Sauce.
• 1 cup Brown Sugar
• 1/2 stick Butter (4 Tablespoons)
• 1/2 cup Half-and-half Or cream (Cream will make it thicker.)
• 1 Tablespoon Vanilla
• Pinch Of Salt
— Mix everything in over medium heat. Whisk gently for about six minutes.
— Stop when you’ve reached a desired thickness.
— Serve warm or cold.

Added musings:

I’ll be mixing in cinnamon to a portion of the remaining sauce before reheating.
I may well add a little maple syrup to another portion.
Well, gee, how about some pre-reduced brandy or amaretto to another portion?

Conclusion: Whether it’s straight or doctored caramel, dry, disappointing cinnamon rolls are now a thing of the past.

Two other relevant photos:

cinnamon roll cross section — Question 1: Did this roll’s interior call for the sauce? I say, yes. I give it a C-. Where’s the cinnamon?

My first attempt a month ago had a richer, darker tone, but a certain someone ran out of brown sugar.

Lest you think I’m leaving without another little morsel on writing…

Nine Authors on What They Eat While Writing

I should be writing. Instead, prototyping cinnamon bun alternatives…

cinnamon buns — They ain’t pretty. Thus, the ‘prototyping’ label.

October 4 was National Cinnamon Bun Day in Sweden and clearly I had no choice but to honor the good folks from the way-up-north.

But ssshhhh, don’t tell them, I was too time-strapped [I.e. impatient, lazy, and disorganized] to use a yeast-based recipe.

And there it was–a lonely, neglected sheet of puff pastry in the freezer.

Time to experiment.

1. Thaw that baby out**.

2. Make up my own filling.

Hydrated raisins
Allspice
Gobs of cinnamon [the appropriate unit for my favorite spice]
Softened butter/vanilla shmear
Chopped almonds

3. Use the Pepperidge Farm baking instructions for a cheese-and-spinach something-or-other as a general guide and hover.

Nope, not pretty. But the ratio of pastry-to-filling–goooood stuff.

I’ll try it again…and maybe even work on the aesthetics.

True, not exactly buns…

Will I be adopted by the Swedes anytime soon? Probably not. But I thank them for their special day.

**Writers and grammar-wonks, I probably should have juxtaposed ‘thaw’ and ‘out’, but it just wasn’t as pleasing to the ear. Sorry.

Rants and Riffs: Installment #3

Today’s topic: Cinnamon rolls.

Come on folks, if there isn’t a roiling ooze of brown sugar, melted butter, and cinnamon the second the knife presses into the roll, it ain’t a cinnamon roll.

Want one with frosting? How about powdered sugar/cream cheese mortar? Something that requires the slathering skills of a professional mason. And yes, paying the guy’s union rate is worth it.

My cardiologist awaits…