Writing Warmup: “Time for a new wardrobe!”

gratisography-310H

“Time for a new wardrobe!”

Where did she get these ideas?

“My clothes are fine.” I flipped to the new page in my Sports Illustrated.

“Your clothes are not fine. I can darn near see through the seat of your jeans and let me tell you, it is not a pretty sight from any angle.”

I reached around and felt my, well, my butt. “Okay, things might be thinning a bit back there, but that doesn’t mean a complete overhaul of my closet.”

“Okay, then, let’s start with pants.”

“My cargo shorts have served me well.”

“What part of ‘pants’ don’t you understand?” She rifled through everything that had stayed on a hanger. “We’re talking a piece of clothing that actually covers your entire leg.”

“I’m sure I have some in there.” 

She pulled out a pair of tie-died Zubazz and glared at me.

“See? I told you.”


I’ve been dreaming up writing prompts for years. I just decided to add a little substance to a few of them as a writing exercise. They’re obviously not complete stories, but I’m giving myself [and anybody else] a chance to develop them further.

Writing Prompt: From up here, it looked like she was in trouble.

From up here, it looked like she was in trouble.

We glanced at each other, shrugged, and bolted for the door.
This was our chance at heroism.
We thought we heard a scream as we squeezed through the doorway at the same time–no mean feat considering our collective girth.
The stairs proved troublesome as neither James nor I would ever wow the judges on ‘Dancing with the Stars’. ‘Spazzing with the Stars’, maybe.
We finally made it down the two flights with no mortal injuries and burst through the swinging door.
Henri was dragging Amy into his Maserati and I’m pretty sure James and I thought the same thing.
“Cool. We get to thrash a Maserati. Better yet, a complete buffoon’s Maserati.”
James ran around the rear of the car, while taking off his belt. Wished I’d thought of that, but considering I chose to slide across the hood of the car, well, one gallant move at a time.
It was as if we’d rehearsed this for years.
Quite the opposite, actually.

***

I’ve been dreaming up writing prompts for years. I just decided to add a little meat to a few of them as a writing exercise. They’re obviously not complete stories, but I’m giving myself [and anybody else] a chance to develop them further.

Writing Prompt: From up here, it looked like she was in trouble.

From up here, it looked like she was in trouble.

We glanced at each other, shrugged, and bolted for the door.
This was our chance at heroism.
We thought we heard a scream as we squeezed through the doorway at the same time–no mean feat considering our collective girth.
The stairs proved troublesome as neither James nor I would ever wow the judges on ‘Dancing with the Stars’. ‘Spazzing with the Stars’, maybe.
We finally made it down the two flights with no mortal injuries and burst through the swinging door.
Henri was dragging Amy into his Maserati and I’m pretty sure James and I thought the same thing.
“Cool. We get to thrash a Maserati. Better yet, a complete buffoon’s Maserati.”
James ran around the rear of the car, while taking off his belt. Wished I’d thought of that, but considering I chose to slide across the hood of the car, well, one gallant move at a time.
It was as if we’d rehearsed this for years.
Quite the opposite, actually.

***

I’ve been dreaming up writing prompts for years. I just decided to add a little meat to a few of them as a writing exercise. They’re obviously not complete stories, but I’m giving myself [and anybody else] a chance to develop them further.

Writers Horoscope for October 17: Linguistic annoyances continue to vex.

Their so right. You're grammar is well. Your going places, irregardless of this here sircumstands

How to cope?

Find solace from Nancy Graham Holm that you are not alone.

How else to cope?

 

Bury your head in the sand

Sander van der Wel via Wikimedia Commons  https://www.flickr.com/photos/jar0d/6066734168/

Writers Horoscope for October 16: Today, endure the fickleness of your livelihood.

Livelihood? How about ‘annoying hobby’?

gratisography frustration writer post-it notes

Either way, it was 3:00 AM** and you tossed and turned and tossed again.

Your spouse stumbled out to the peace and quiet of the living room couch.
The border collie followed soon after.

And you were left to brood.

Shouldn’t the plural of ‘low-life’ be ‘low-lives’?

And Snow White’s annoying posse–shouldn’t they be the Seven Dwarves?

Let the brooding continue…and here you had just come to terms with your own flawfulness.


 

image courtesy of gratisography.comgratisography.com

**Why is it always 3:00 AM?

Writers Horoscope for October 15: Accept your ‘flawfulness’ today.

Whether it’s a new chapter written in a rush of enthusiasm, a new blog post written with one eye on the football game, or a quick bulletin board announcement…

welcome art edicators

a second look never hurts.

Writers Horoscope for October 14: Today, surround yourself with what could be…

or should be.

IMG_1335

Yep, nothing like a little on-site inspiration.

Your audience awaits.

Writers Horoscope for October 13: Today, ponder ‘sonder’.

Yes, the word is ‘sonder’.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows:    n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. To help you visualize, short video here.

girl with rose crown

Let it feed today’s writing.

**

Note: Thanks to Seth Godin for introducing the Writers Horoscope to this concept.

 

Writers Horoscope for October 12: Today, new frontiers await.

Columbus isn’t the only one to be honored today.

Give a nod to yourself.

But only after you try your hand at say, a how-to article on unexpected uses of hair conditioner [yes, there are], or Astrology and the Home Cook [You’re on your own with that one.] or an impromptu photo story,

 

Happy Thanksgiving to Canadians, by the way.

 

What’s on my bookshelf? If You Can Talk, You Can Write

First of all, I love short chapters.

Thank you, Joel Saltzman, author of If You Can Talk, You Can Write [1993]—50 chapters squeezed into 190 pages.

And he practices what he preaches, as Saltzman might as well be playfully preaching to us over coffee in the kitchen.

Three of my preferred chapters:

  • If You Don’t Know What to Say, Start Saying It
  • Write About What Matters to You
  • But It’s Not Even Close to Perfect

My favorite Saltzman quotes:

  • “What’s needed is entitlement, the firm belief that ‘If it interests me, it interests others.’ “
  • “All you have to do is learn to stop rejecting your thoughts and start writing them down.”
  • “…you can adopt a much saner, more productive point of view: PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.”

Saltzman also weaves in short anecdotes, pop quizzes [Ten questions you can’t get wrong], and valuable quotes from other writers, including:

  • “In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts.” —Goethe
  • “If the result of something I do is that someone feels 10 percent less crazy because they see someone else thinking what they’re thinking, then I provide a service.” —Albert Brooks

This is one of about a dozen books I would snag from my shelf in case a fire broke out at home. [If it wasn’t already been planted in my back seat box of writing stuff…]