- Rejection slips? Hey, someone [or at least someTHING] considers you among the living.
- Put on hold when you request payment for your work? See #1. [You at least rate the push of a button.]
- Your characters running amok? They might have a firmer grasp of the real story than you do.
- The critique group finding hidden meaning in your work where none was intended? At least they’re reading it. And at least your words have meaning.
Monthly Archives: August 2017
Writers Horoscope August 8: You may encounter an unexpected obstruction.
It’s called ‘authorial laryngitis’.
A loss of your writer’s voice.
You’re able to spit out words on your screen, but they don’t accurately reflect ‘you’.
Let’s cut to Allen Ginsberg for a solution:
“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”
Writers Horoscope August 7: Curiosity may get the best of you today.
In your desperate search for tantalizing bits of dialogue, you saunter into a coffee shop and slither into eavesdropping mode.
A few tips:
- Leaning your ear toward a conversation–not cool. [Just nudge and point your voice-recording smartphone in the right direction.]
- Dropping the fork toward the speaker–just plain desperate. [Go with a napkin and hope the air currents are friendly. Quieter. Caution: don’t use the napkin afterwards.]
- Cupping your hands behind each ear–pathetic. [You might as well just slide in next to the folks and start jotting down their every word.]
And if you’re too busy to intrude, there are probably a few non-virtual assistants willing to help out.
Writers Horoscope August 6: Beware of your avocation’s side effects.
Consider the debilitating carpal tunnel syndrome.
Cut back on flipping through pages of writer magazines, clicking through cat videos, and flinging your pencils across the room during those inevitable struggles with mushy middles.
Writers Horoscope August 5: Widen your audience of critics.
Another species perhaps?
This one’s unequivocal apathy to your ‘read-backs’ should steel you in the face of future unappreciative audiences.
Writers Horoscope August 4: Stick to your standards.
Your work eschews profanity.
No reason to start that &*^%! now, right?
You don’t need %$#! or ^*@#@! or ^@#&! to verbidextrously [don’t bother looking it up] weave your way through that tense showdown between the mallwalking retirees.
Writers Horoscope August 3: Making your mark proves confounding.
Someone will advise you to ‘niche down’.
Say what? You might be tempted to find that ‘son of a niche’ who came up with the term.
Calm yourself and stick to your strength writing.
Writers Horoscope August 2: Your next income opportunity? Think it through.
That part-time job sounds good. But will it feed your search for new characters?
Or will it feed your need to dine on more than chicken[ish] ramen with taco seasoning? [Talk about Asian fusion…]
Writers Horoscope August 1: Not taking action is your best course of action.
You bored yourself silly while outlining your memoir.
Wisely, you will pull the plug.
[No one deserves to see your prom photos. Really? Powder blue with ruffles?]
Word Inventions 