There’s a not-so-fine line between publishing and defacing.
Besides, ink-on-wall is so limiting…so 20th century. Today, join the digital age.
Tag Archives: Humor
Writers Horoscope August 12: Today, take a second look at your [w]rituals.
It’s possible you’re losing sight of your writing goals.
Take a deep breath…that’s it…now put down the compass. The only sharp object you should be working with is a medium point Bic.
Writers Horoscope August 11: Solitude is not your friend.
Those endless hours alone are turning ugly.
Along with changing your writing landscape, consider tapping into collective genius. Form a writing productivity group that checks their ‘critic’ gene at the door.
Writers Horoscope August 10: A change of scenery is in order.
Face it–waking up to a sea of pixels and liquid crystals is hardly a warm, embracing welcome to your creative urges**.
So, mix it up.
Get out of the house.
Breathe real air.
Pave a new neural pathway. [Not even sure that’s a thing. It just sounds right.]
Turn off YouTube, fergawdsakes.
Happy writing.
**Ever notice that ‘urges’ is easily rearranged to spell ‘surge’? I mean, really, isn’t that cosmic? A surge of urges………eeew-ick, an innocent four-word phrase and we’re thrust into 50 Shades territory…thrust……okay, we’re done here.
Writers Horoscope August 9: Choose optimism today.
- Rejection slips? Hey, someone [or at least someTHING] considers you among the living.
- Put on hold when you request payment for your work? See #1. [You at least rate the push of a button.]
- Your characters running amok? They might have a firmer grasp of the real story than you do.
- The critique group finding hidden meaning in your work where none was intended? At least they’re reading it. And at least your words have meaning.
Writers Horoscope August 8: You may encounter an unexpected obstruction.
It’s called ‘authorial laryngitis’.
A loss of your writer’s voice.
You’re able to spit out words on your screen, but they don’t accurately reflect ‘you’.
Let’s cut to Allen Ginsberg for a solution:
“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”
Writers Horoscope August 7: Curiosity may get the best of you today.
In your desperate search for tantalizing bits of dialogue, you saunter into a coffee shop and slither into eavesdropping mode.
A few tips:
- Leaning your ear toward a conversation–not cool. [Just nudge and point your voice-recording smartphone in the right direction.]
- Dropping the fork toward the speaker–just plain desperate. [Go with a napkin and hope the air currents are friendly. Quieter. Caution: don’t use the napkin afterwards.]
- Cupping your hands behind each ear–pathetic. [You might as well just slide in next to the folks and start jotting down their every word.]
And if you’re too busy to intrude, there are probably a few non-virtual assistants willing to help out.
Writers Horoscope August 6: Beware of your avocation’s side effects.
Consider the debilitating carpal tunnel syndrome.
Cut back on flipping through pages of writer magazines, clicking through cat videos, and flinging your pencils across the room during those inevitable struggles with mushy middles.
Writers Horoscope August 5: Widen your audience of critics.
Another species perhaps?
This one’s unequivocal apathy to your ‘read-backs’ should steel you in the face of future unappreciative audiences.
Writers Horoscope August 4: Stick to your standards.
Your work eschews profanity.
No reason to start that &*^%! now, right?
You don’t need %$#! or ^*@#@! or ^@#&! to verbidextrously [don’t bother looking it up] weave your way through that tense showdown between the mallwalking retirees.
Word Inventions 