Rise above regret today.
That cheese dust from the forbidden Cheetos [July 21] is gumming up your keyboard.
Go old school. Whip out a sharpened Ticonderoga #2 and a tablet and finish that chapter.
photo copyright Christopher Paulin
Tag Archives: Humor
Writers Horoscope-July 22
An exploration of a new genre is courageous, yet treacherous.
Your rhyming picture book on the merits of gratitude? Well, your writing group wasn’t grateful.
Forge ahead, but skip the couplets.
Leave the lame verse for the celebrities.
Writers Horoscope–July 20
Today–reach out to people.
Plan your cookbook-signing.
Your biggest challenge: Finding an actual brick-and-mortar bookstore.
Alternatives? Set up a promotion table at the meat counter in Earl and Pearl’s Stop n’ Shop. [Better provide skewers and samples. Hungry shoppers don’t exactly sprout cash for text-on-paper.]
Next to the table, try something subtle, yet memorable.
“Portion-control is for wimps. Buy the whole book!”
Writers Horoscope–July 19
Today is the day to find alternative gigs.
Start small. A skywriting company needs a proofreader.
Too ambitious? Seek out that children’s publisher of wordless books.
Writers Horoscope–July 18
Your publishing company is off to a good start.
You’ve tracked down office space. [That spare lumber in the garage needed to be cleared out anyway.]
For those draining 400-word days, you’ll need that footrest. Rex the Wonder Retriever lies at the ready.
And every writer needs face time with an apathetic reader. Your tabby Whiskers is primed to ignore your every word.
Writers Horoscope–July 17
You’re still unpublished.
No worries. Start your own company. Give yourself a signing bonus. [A $10 coffee card ought to do the trick. Knock it down to $5 if the CFO raises a little hell.]
Make it even more realistic. Turn down your own manuscripts. Promptly. And rudely.
Writers Horoscope: July 16
Find a new audience today for your latest chapter.
Yes, your border collie will do just fine. 
Take note of when he:
- cocks his head [your protagonist’s actions strayed too far from her core character]
- lets his attention drift to backyard activity [your dialogue isn’t advancing the plot]
- growls [waaaaay too much exposition]
Writers Horoscope-July 15-Day 19
Continued change is today’s theme.
Moving from Windows XP is highly advised. Ditto your creaky Dell Dimension. Double-ditto Microsoft Word 2003.
Writers Horoscope-July 14-Day 18
Cash in on small changes today.
That long-awaited move from a Bic to a Pentel may be just what you need to get unstuck.
Your protagonist may finally pop the question[or even a new one!] and you can finally move on to his inevitable Hallmark-ish emotional peaks and valleys.
Writers Horoscope-July 13-Day 17
Multiple pages will be written by you today.
A second critical eye should be cast on your work by a new writing partner.
Use of passive voice is to be avoided at all costs.
Word Inventions 