Category Archives: Humor

I’ve been reading The Wander Society by Keri Smith. And it got me to thinking about the wandering mind.

Here’s an interesting post on one writer’s research into and use of that valuable resource.

Why Writers Should Let Their Minds Wander

Which led to this fun foray of my own.

I noticed recently that Vanderbilt University extended the contract for their bowling coach.

A few thoughts, and many more questions than answers.

What does pre-season training look like? Powering down six-packs and then rolling a game or two? Practicing high-fives and, after the training table beer consumption, hoping to make hand-to-hand high-five contact?

Where do they travel? And what do they travel in?

Are there rankings?

Is there a TV contract?

What league are they in?

What does a coach’s recruiting trip look like? How do they win over a bowling prospect’s parents? What side benefits are they offered?

Has any school been put on probation for recruiting violations? Or for lack of institutional control?

Does the NCAA oversee bowling programs?

Is there a ‘one-and-done’ rule as in basketball?

Are there pre-match bonfires? Pep rallies? Do cheerleaders show up at competition and do they have to wear bowling shoes when doing their routines?

What does halftime entertainment look like? Where do you fit an entire college band?

Do they have to work their schedule around the Alley Cats, Nimble Seniors, and Mixed Minglers Leagues?

Are there playoffs? Sponsored bowl games? [Ironic label, eh?] No doubt, Brunswick would be one of the companies ponying up some cash.

What does a coach’s contract look like? Is it incentive-laden and if so, what are the incentives?

Uniforms? What do they look like? Are Nike, Adidas, Under Armour clamoring for bowling shoe sponsorship?

What about team trainers? What are the most prevalent injuries?

Are referees needed? What would unsportsmanlike conduct look like? What would targeting look like in a bowling match? Illegal motion? And are they called ‘matches’? Duels? Alley-fights?

Have Las Vegas oddsmakers gotten involved?

How can you ‘throw a game’ without attracting suspicion?

Is there such a thing as ‘home lane advantage’?

Yes, pretty pathetic that I’ve expended that much energy on this, but…when dealing with reality is the alternative, suddenly obsessing over college bowling starts to make sense.