I want to live in a world where…
cheese bread actually includes chunks of detectable cheese rather than a few scattered molecules. [I mean it, we’re talkin’ molecules!]
***
Ditto with cookies n’ cream ice cream. If I wanted crumbs n’ cream ice cream, that’s what I’d buy. Cookies n’ cream should feature veins and lodes of the chocolate cookie. [I mean it, we’re talkin’ veins and lodes!].
© 2013 Shelly ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ . Licensed under CC-BY.
https://www.sketchport.com/drawing/1226097/oreo-ice-cream
NOTE TO WRITERS: Rants require overuse of exclamation points and annoying phrasal repetition…and the use of snooty words like ‘phrasal’.
Word Inventions 
Love this post. How about excessive use of CAPITALIZATION?
YES! THANKS FOR THE REMINDER, RON!! At my age, the bigger the letters, the easier to read/‘hear’.