Humor – Page 15 – Word Inventions

Writers Horoscope September 28: Guilt sets in. You must resist.

You’re camped out under your apple tree watching a woodpecker five feet away.

It’s the closest you have even been to one in your life.

And you wonder, ‘Geez, am I so lethargic that a woodpecker has no clue a living being is nearby?’

That’s when you should reach for a trusty source of inspiration:

“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal.”

Paulo Coelho

Yes, it’s just a bird. And yes, you’re not raking in serious cash, but your writing life is not routine. And for that, you can be thankful.

Writers Horoscope September 27: Today, physiology wins out.

Your search for new stories has taken its toll.

There is no way that chapter’s getting done. You’d be lucky if you make it past the title.

Shrug it off and take that nap.

If you wake up the next morning, so be it.

Who knows–all that rest might have launched your subconscious into overdrive.

And that brilliant plot twist will appear when you least expect it.

And here’s another convincing benefit–you’ll live longer.

Writers Horoscope September 22: Keep an eye out for new opportunities.

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You’re not just a writer of novels or blog posts or weekly columns.

You are a listener. You’re a storyteller. You condense thoughts. You cut through blather and deliver a message. You’re a narrator. You ask the right questions. You catch details most people glide right past.

There is a need for you and your talents.

Take a look here and here. As a great man once said, “Hey, ya never know!”

Writers Horoscope September 21: You fall off the ‘positive morning habits’ wagon.

gratisography viewfinder distractions smaller

It’s been less than 24 hours since yesterday’s post and already you’ve strayed…

How to hop back on? Elizabeth Grace Saunders offers these four guidelines.

image courtesy of gratisography.com

Writers Horoscope September 20: Revamp your start to the day.

gratisography sprinters stance start the day

More and more research is pointing out the drawbacks of diving into email, the Internet, and directionless apps first thing in the morning. You might consider leading off with any combination of reading, writing, a little mindfulness, and some exercise. [Okay, coffee fits in there somewhere.]

But don’t take my word for it.

Srini Rao homes in on the topic with this article in Medium.

Here also is a quote from his Why Only is Better Than Best: “Once you become aware of how you’re spending your time, you’ll be amazed at how much of it you actually have at your disposal to develop better habits.”

image courtesy of gratisography.com

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Writers Horoscope September 19: There’s room for more than one mentor in your life.

Getting a second, or third, opinion on your work may be just what you need.

Yes, too many cooks can spoil the…well, you know.

But, just in case, keep your eyes open for another writing sage in your life.

gratisography dog with glasses as mentor

Writing mentors need to look, well, writerly.

And will listen. Without too much judgment.

And won’t heap huge expectations on you.

A daily ride in the car? Sure. A bowl of kibble? You can handle that.

But remember: they need the writerly look.

Jeff Goins offers some serious tips on finding a writing mentor.

image courtesy of gratisography.com

Writers Horoscope September 18: Find a new outlet for your pent-up energy.

All that time in front of a computer screen.

All that roiling frustration over that damnable dangling participle…

You’re turning into a churning hunk of burning funk. (Thank you, James Taylor)

Time to let loose.

gratisography arm wrestling outlet for pentup energy

And it just might lead to a little cash on the side.

Bonus! For sticking with this post—other ways to de-stress in front of the screen…

image courtesy of gratisography.com

Writers Horoscope September 17: Today, listen to yourself.

Oh, sure, through the years, you’ve heard voices. Lots of them.

And some actually came from people who exist.

Now it’s time to hear yourself.

Yep, you.

You not only have a lot to say, but you need to hear yourself say it.

Record your written words and play them back.

You will probably wince at the sound of your voice, but, shrug it off and soak in the sound of your words.

You may well ask yourself, “Who was that genius?”

And if there were a virtual ‘Like’ button** floating around, you might even click it.

** Someone, somewhere should be making a few bucks cranking out and selling ‘Like’ buttons for people to wear. Would be fun to watch the reactions of passers-by…

image courtesy of gratisography.com

Writers Horoscope September 16: It’s time to refuel.

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Do you need to be convinced? Deadlines and ill-temperament have taken their toll, after all.

Paul Jun’s guest post on ProBlogger offers three reasonable suggestions to consider.

Don’t write, exercise. Get the endorphins pumping.
Admit it: there are days you should just wave the white flag.
Unearth those touches of genius you’ve squirreled away on sticky notes, sauce-smeared napkins, or steamy shower walls. That will give you a boost when you’re ready to get back in the game.

Writers Horoscope September 15: The publishing world is against you. It seems.

evil editor-dasher of dreams caption Ever had that submission spur an immediate rejection?

We’re talkin’, ‘Click ‘send’ and within minutes, boom! your inbox has a ‘Thanks, but…’ message. It’s almost as if that evil editor, assistant or, in 2017, maybe an automated script, has been just waiting for your query letter or sample chapter.

Time to give up, right?

Uhhh, no.

Jordan Rosenfeld, author of A Writer’s Guide to Persistence: How to Create a Lasting and Productive Writing Practice, offers these tips.

No, I have not yet bought her book, but for almost a year, I’ve followed her Twitter feed, which abounds with inspiration and advice for writers.

So hang in there and move on to the next potential client.

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